Errands

I need to make a run to the store for more Coke Zero for Wild Bill. Some time today. But I may also need to pick up a few things if we have friends over for a cookout tonight. I don't want to have to make 2 trips because it's so hard getting my sorry self into and out of my car, and to get my car unloaded. Wish they'd call!

Here is what an errand entails for me:  if I'm going to the grocery store, I'll need a cart. That means leaving the walker behind. So I have to transfer my wallet, keys, glucose monitor, and cell phone from the pocket of my walker to my purse. The purse is hidden away in my bedroom, somewhere out of Jerry's reach. Then I have to find a cane to walk with. After that, I'm trying to limp-waddle out the front door without the dogs coming. After some coaxing, Jerry will usually sit and stay until I get out the door--IF Wild Bill doesn't decide to assert his presence and distract Jerry by giving him different orders. (sigh) I know he's only trying to help, but if he's not going to do his duty as a dog owner and train his puppy on a daily basis, he needs to STFU!

Once at the store, the Coke is heavy and awkward for me to handle, so of course someone else will need to squeeze by my cart and me at the same exact moment I'm trying to load my cart. Loud exasperated sighs usually ensue. Those who don't sigh offer to help. The jury is still out on which is more annoying.

I have learned to love the self checkout lanes.Since I can rarely get a cashier to help me bag and load my cart, and there is no such thing as a "bagger" anymore since the advent of bag carousels, at least I can set my own pace using these lanes. Sometimes all I need is just a tiny bit of control over my life!

Once home again, Bill is usually around to help unload my car. But putting things where they belong is distinctly MY job. Then I must remember to put everything from my purse back into the pocket of my walker and hide my empty purse from Jerry again. All this with my two next-to-baby toes rubbing raw inside my shoes because the toe boxes are too small and I can't get new shoes for 2-3 more months yet. Custom fitting my ass!

So I hope you can see why I hate to leave home more than once a day. If I were younger, I'd sign off by saying FML.