Losses

There were two memorials today that affected Wild Bill and I. One was for a guy from work that Bill has known forever and I've known for a good twenty years, maybe more. The other was the younger brother of a young lady we've more or less adopted as a niece to us; he was tragically killed in a car accident just as he seemed to be making great strides in his  personal life. I guess at the ripe old age of 57, this will happen more often, although losing Heather's brother is a shock because of his tender age.

Then later today I learned that my cousin's good friend from Brazil, who was flying up here to Michigan in about a week, was found dead in his home. This is the thing that scares me more than anything else in the world! Dj lived alone and had a few health issues (nothing nearly as extensive as mine but I guess normal for a man approaching retirement age?), and no one had heard from him in a few days. I don't know how long he had been gone before he was found, but I can't help but think "Did he suffer? Was he aware of what was happening and that he had no help?"

I really feel for my cousin Mike. He is the type of guy who, when he tries something new and likes it, he embraces it MORE than whole-heartedly. He enthuses in a manner so over-the-top, I find myself pulling back in fear from airborne flying chunks of passion! This is how he was about Brazil when he went there and took a bazillion photos, and this is how he was four years or so ago when Dj was last in the U.S.

They were looking forward to Dj spending the fall/winter holidays in Michigan:  Halloween, with people wearing their costumes over their winter coats, American Thanksgiving, and a white Christmas. These will all be so hard for Cousin Mike. He suffers from his own debilitating conditions and has spent the past several years wondering how long he'd have a roof over his head, where next weeks groceries will come from, etc. Now he is living a little more comfortably and can relax and spend time with one of his closest friends in the world. Except he can't.

My theory is that we gimps feel these losses more acutely. We have fewer good things in our lives to look forward too, have already lost so much in the way of our lifestyles, and have given up our independence already. Everything we have left are therefore that more precious to us, especially our family members and our friends. I could be wrong--it may only be the gimps I know personally, and I just happen to be drawn to people who have a great capacity for love and caring. And with that I'll try to  sleep and dream of baby donkeys.