Lately I've been forgetting that I'm fat.
I don't know when it started, or how, but my size is becoming less and less of an issue. Sometimes it catches me by surprise when I see my reflection and realize I'm still a size 2X from the waist up!
I think there are several causes for this forgetfulness. One is, I'm getting older and growing senile.
Second, the adaptive changes I've made to my environment are paying off, and I'm getting around and doing day-to-day activities with more energy and less pain. So perhaps my subconscious lumps my weight problem in with my disability, and my more "normal" feelings somehow include a "normal" size as well.
Thirdly, I have had some very vivid dreams this summer, probably due to the heat and the "upside down" schedule the dogs and I are keeping. I'm not doing anything bizarre in my dreams--rather, I'm going to work or taking classes or somehow maintaining regular daily activities. In my dreams, I'm either a "normal" size or my heaviness is never a problem.
I think I'll be in for a shock Monday when I weigh in at the doctor's.
